How to protect your case—and your children—through a custody dispute. April 2026
Custody disputes are among the most emotionally charged aspects of any family law case. When children are involved, the stakes feel higher than ever—and understandably so. Unfortunately, the stress of the situation can lead parents to make decisions that unintentionally hurt their case.
At Crawley Law Office, we've helped many Eugene-area families navigate child custody issues, and we've seen these same mistakes come up again and again. Here are five of the most common—and how to avoid them.
It's natural to feel frustrated or even angry with your co-parent during a custody dispute. But speaking negatively about them in front of your children can backfire in a major way. Oregon courts prioritize the best interests of the child, and judges look closely at which parent is more likely to encourage a healthy relationship with the other parent.
If a judge believes you're undermining the child's relationship with the other parent, it can negatively affect your custody outcome. Keep adult conflicts between adults. If you need to vent, talk to a friend, therapist, or your attorney—not your kids.
Temporary custody orders exist for a reason. Even if you disagree with the current arrangement, ignoring or violating a court order sends a terrible message to the judge. It suggests you don't respect the court's authority—which is the very authority that will decide your case.
If the current arrangement isn't working, the right approach is to file a motion with the court to modify the order. Do not take matters into your own hands. For background on how Oregon handles these issues, see our child custody & parenting time page or our blog post on Oregon child custody laws explained.
Social media is one of the biggest landmines in modern custody cases. A frustrated post about your ex, a photo of a night out, or even a seemingly harmless check-in at a bar can be taken out of context and used against you in court. Opposing counsel routinely searches social media for anything that contradicts a parent's claims.
"During a custody dispute, treat everything you post online as if it will be presented to a judge."
Better yet, take a break from social media entirely until your case is resolved. And remember—even private posts can be screenshotted and shared.
If you're in a custody dispute, documentation is your best friend. Keep a detailed log of custody exchanges, including dates, times, and any issues that come up. Save text messages and emails that are relevant to parenting. Note missed visits, late pickups, or any behavior that concerns you about your child's safety or well-being.
Courts make decisions based on evidence. Your memory of what happened six months ago won't carry the same weight as a written record made at the time. A simple notebook or a notes app on your phone is all you need to start. For an idea of what to gather early in your case, review our documents needed checklist.
Oregon law requires both parents to complete a parenting education course in any custody or divorce case involving minor children. Some parents treat this as a box to check—but the class actually provides valuable tools for co-parenting effectively and understanding your child's experience during this transition. Learn more on our mandatory parenting class page.
Completing the class promptly also signals to the court that you're taking the process seriously. Delaying it can hold up your case and create a negative impression. Don't procrastinate on this—get it done early.
Understanding what judges look for can help you avoid these mistakes. Under ORS 107.137, Oregon courts consider several factors when determining custody, including the emotional ties between the child and each parent, each parent's interest in and attitude toward the child, the desirability of continuing an existing relationship, any history of abuse, and each parent's willingness to facilitate a close relationship with the other parent.
Every one of these factors connects back to the mistakes above. When you keep the focus on your children's well-being—rather than the conflict with your ex—you put yourself in the strongest possible position. For a deeper dive, visit our blog post on custody vs. parenting time.
If your custody dispute is part of a divorce, it's worth understanding the broader procedural timeline as well. Our blog post What to Expect During the Oregon Divorce Process walks through each stage from filing through final judgment, and our Divorce: The Process page covers how custody, child support, and spousal support all come together in a single case.
Custody disputes don't have to define your family's future. With the right legal support and a clear-headed approach, you can protect your relationship with your children while navigating the process with dignity.
At Crawley Law Office, we bring compassion and experience to every family law case. If you're facing a custody dispute in Lane County or anywhere in Oregon, we're here to help. Browse our family law resources or schedule a consultation today.
Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every situation is unique. Please consult with an attorney to discuss the specifics of your case.
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